Funny Ways to Rate Underachieving NCOs

Time to knock out some NCOERs?  Don’t know how to rate that underachieving Non-commissioned officer who hasn’t seen his feet since basic training?  Well, with the help of some awesome fans we have put together a few bullets for you to help ensure they are quickly promoted to the next rank of awesomeness because let’s face it, if you put a rucksack in formation long enough they will put stripes on it.



West Points’ Recommended Reading List

-Works well when supervised

Consistently sets own standards and then fails to meet them

-Help build local economy by frequenting local strip clubs

-Received McDonalds customer of the year award for most visits to on post restaurant

-Unsuccessful in locating bag of grid squares

The Commandant of the Marine Corps Professional Reading List For NCOs

-Consistently leads subordinates, to local bar

-Was caught selling APFT insurance

-When combining 3 performed APFTs over the year soldier earned a score of 275

-Ponders while others are in action

-Maintains a low speed, high drag demeanor

-I cannot think of a national emergency that would warrant a promotion

-Officer should go far, away

-APFT score would make a good room temperature

-Fell out of family tree

Works well with shiny objects

-Should attend Ranger School, for DFAC detail

-Performed job of latrine security guard with valor

-Managed to not be found restrained to floor buffer by power cord this quarter

-Thinks AR-670-1 is more of a fashion guide than a regulation

-Displays a Be, Know, Don’t attitude.

-Becomes hungry when called butter bar

-Soldier would be out of his depth when standing in a puddle

-Social hand-grenade

-Consistently carries out duties to own satisfaction

-Almost found North on a map

-Candidate for Darwin award

-Caught making coitus with BN Commander’s daughter during Army Ball, promote immediately

Don’t want to be one of the aforementioned NCOs, maybe read this blog.


  1. “His company performed admirably during the Los Angeles Riots under the capable leadership of his Executive Officer.”
    “If men were to follow this officer in to battle it would only be out idle curiosity.”

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